Right now, I'm learning how to be bad at things. .
"BAD" at? Well, let's unpack this. My entire life there have been things I was naturally "good" at, that came easily to me and my body, and things I was "bad" at, which I then decided I couldn't be bothered with, 'cause why not just focus on my natural gifts? I'd train myself to perform immensely intricate and difficult tasks, if, at first, it came easily to me. If it didn't come easy the first time, I simply wouldn't take the time to be bad at it. Martial arts was one of those things I was "good at" as a kid. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I vainly assumed I could always just pick it back up. 14yrs later I'm finding out just how wrong I was. I'm learning how to be bad at something. To be humbled, yet show up anyways. To struggle, but keep an undying positive attitude, even if it means making a total ass of myself. I'm doing it honestly. No point in bringing ego into it, or pretending to know things I do not. I am working around old injuries, I am moving slowly and my body is changing. I'm awkward, I'm clumsy, I'm 3 seconds from falling on my ass at any given moment, but I decided I would do this. I committed to every minute of stumbling and wobbling and tripping on my own feet. I committed to standing there with my jiggling bits and my cushioned abs in a room full of people, just going for it. I'm realizing how easy it is to go to the gym, put on headphones, and do the same 3 workouts every week. I'm realizing how easy it is emotionally, because this, Fit Arts, this shit is hard. I am not the best in the class, far from it! I am not the star student or the leanest meanest fighter. I am Jess, learning to crawl. Learning my body. Learning to be humble and embrace challenge. I'm not going to sit here and lie/brag about how perfect my moves are just to be insta-popular with my insta-perfect life. Lol no I'm sloppy and fumbling. My ass is beat and I'm crying out in pain, laughing at myself. This is hard, and I really, really, really, am not great at it. Yet.
I did the best back Bridges I have done in a decade last night, and I had fun. Scroll for silly♡ I appreciate these people ♡